followed, followed, followed everywhere i go, followed by the heaviness that looms over my head, followed by flies that eat away at my dead skin as i sleep.. followed by EYES, prying little eyes, taking whatever they can get, the eyes of common people are as bad as the eyes of the corporations, they all bleed together now, it's all becoming the same..
they trick you, they trick us, into thinking we WANT "followers".... it's the ultimate prize, you surrender yourself, you spend the money, you do the work, they harvest any morsel of talent for the "feed", and if you're LUCKY, if you're WORTHY, you too, can experience the joys and wonders of being MONITERED, perhaps even becoming the object of obsession to those of lesser influence, you could become a fixation to someone.. you could become immitated, you could become as cheap and worthless as any other false idol, you could survive off of the parasites, you will never have to work again, you want this, you want this, let us watch you oh please please tell us everything..
i'm frightened, i hide, i hunch over and convulse when i cry, i feel the grip of it all wrapped so tightly around me, all the time, perfection obsession, ugly little white lies, glossing over fine lines, everything's a thought crime, they wish they were AI.... horrified, i hide!!! i hate you all, i hate you all, i love you all, i'm so sorry, i love the real you, i hate the curated you, i love the animal you, i hate the mechanical "us".... HOW COULD WE STRAY SO FAR FROM GOD? DON'T YOU FEEL PATHETIC? DON'T YOU FEEL SO WORTHLESS? GROVELLING, DAY IN AND DAY OUT, BEGGING FOR NUMBERS, BEGGING FOR SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T EXIST? YOU ARE WORTHLESS IN THIS WORLD, YOU ARE SO FUCKING WORTHLESS, I'M WORTHLESS TOO, AND WE COULD BE WORTHLESS TOGETHER, IT COULD BE SO BEAUTIFUL? BUT NO, YOU CAN'T STAND TO EXIST JUST FOR YOURSELF, AND THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU, YOU IGNORE THEM IN FAVOR OF ZUCKERBERG, JUST FUCKING ADMIT IT, YOU WOULD RATHER SEE YOUR CHILDHOOD HOME BURN TO THE GROUND THAN LOSE YOUR INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT, YOU ARE SO WEAK, YOU ARE SO EASY, ACCEPT IT, JUST ACCEPT IT AND DISMANTLE IT, OH GOD I HATE YOU SO MUCH.... it fucking kills me that i have to choose coldness over connection, all i ever wanted was to be vulnerable,
all I ever wanted was HONESTY, SINCERITY, i wanted to reach out, i want DEPTH, i want COMPLEXITIES, i need UNDERSTANDING... the new humans operate under this one sided false "empathy" which is actually misguided sympathy based purely on projections... the new humans can only understand what is categorizable, identities must be displayed on the surface, vagueness is regarded with suspicion, indifference is criminal... judge me for being hopeless! judge me all you want! i have no hope for this piece of shit world! we ruined everything! we ruined fucking everything! you imbeciles would gladly sever ties with the people who birthed and raised you because they used a word you don't like and now you can use it as content to show your "followers" how "good" of a person you are! you ungrateful, worthless sack of flesh...
you feel gratification in being so unforgiving? you are WEAK. WEAK FUCKING PEOPLE!!!!! IMAGINE HAVING THE STRENGTH TO NOT ONLY BE UNBOTHERED BY SOMETHING YOU DISAGREE WITH, BUT BEING ABLE TO ATTEMPT UNDERSTANDING OF THE PERSON EXPRESSING SOMETHING YOU DISAGREE WITH, UNDERSTANDING THE SYSTEMS/PROCESSES THAT MAY HAVE LEAD THEM TO THIS BELIEF? CAN YOU IMAGINE SUCH POWER? CAN YOUR INFANTILIZED MIND GRAPPLE WITH THE CONCEPT OF MERE TOLERANCE? YOUR PARENTS ARE GOING TO FUCKING DIE ONE DAY, AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE THE CHANCE TO RECONCILE ONCE THIS HAPPENS, YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN GET TO SAY GOODBYE..... you will never understand this pain until it's too late.
fuck you. everything is so fragile and you break it on purpose. you break things and not even in a good way. you're oblivious. open your eyes, weaklings. you're not better than anyone. i'm not special, you're not special.
no one pities us. technology is feasting on your essence and you love it. it's not going to get better. we've gone too far. do what matters the most to your heart. i want to help, if there's any way i can. i want to help people get stronger, i want us all to face this hell we've created, together, i don't want to hate you, i don't want to hide, i don't want to be followed, i don't want to live in fear.... i want to forgive..... i'd forgive the devil, if he'd only apologize... if he really wanted to change.... anyone can change. anyone can become strong. abandon magic, please, i beg of you, just pray to your angels, they will make you strong.... harness your strength without a desire for power. do not try to control things that should be left to fate. do not reveal too much of yourself on the social media apps. hold on to your essence and put it into the real world. do the things you enjoy for no reason other than enjoyment. criticize every single thing you see, do, hear, absorb. criticize me too. i love you. i'll never forget you.